


Watch Me Die?

by Jule_Kyler, LovesGrimReaper



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bruce Feels, Eventual Romance, M/M, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Tony Feels, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-04-28 19:22:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5102726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jule_Kyler/pseuds/Jule_Kyler, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovesGrimReaper/pseuds/LovesGrimReaper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce knows heartache better than most. He's even gotten so low in life that he tried to kill himself once. It didn't work then, but that doesn't mean it won't work now. Not when he has an old weapon with a new bullet in hand. To bad Tony wants to play witness.<br/>Rating is just to be on the safe side since this site appears to be quick drawing out the claws. I started this story, but my lovely dear LovesGrimReaper will be taking it over starting with Chapter 2.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> LovesGrimReaper posted this first, but it was taken off the site because Reaper joked about taking it from me, even though I gave Reaps permission. So now the only way for you peeps to get at it is by me posting it. I don't willing join sites like these anymore so I am doing Reaps the biggest favor. I hope Reaps appreciates it.

_“In case you needed to kill me, but you can’t! I know! I tried!…I got low. I didn’t see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth…and the other guy spit it out!…”_

Thats all Tony could hear running through his mind as he entered Bruce’s private quarters to find the man in question sitting on his bed with a gun held tightly in his hands, head rested upon it. Suddenly, Tony could no longer remember why he had come in the first place. All that mattered now was finding a way to get Bruce to drop the gun.

But how…

“You’re doing this for me aren’t you.” Tony said in his practiced giddy voice with the matching smile as he moved to sit cross legged on the floor in front of Bruce. 

Perhaps it wasn’t the smartest thing in the world to say, but hey, it’s not like Tony ever had to talk someone off a ledge before. And it sorta worked, considering Bruce was now looking at Tony with confused, tear-filled eyes. 

“W-what?” Asked Bruce in a half choked voice that could barely be heard.

“Well, I’ve been bugging you for months now in hopes of getting some Hulk playtime, but alas all my efforts have brought upon me nothing but failure.” Tony ended with a pout and a poke to Bruce’s knee. 

“Y-you t-think this is j-just my way of bringing out the H-Hulk…s-so you can what… play with him?!” Asked Bruce, eyes now flashing green.

“I mean… why else would you be holding a gun to your face if that wasn’t it?”

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe I wan’t out?”

“Want out of what? Shield? Because all you need do is say the word and I can make them let you go.”

“And if I wanted out of this body? Tell me, how would you fix that Stark?” growled Bruce, now leaning in closer to Tony in hopes of putting fear into the man. 

“To be honest, I’ve never been one to mess with perfection.”

At this Bruce laughed a humorless laugh and rose from the bed. Gun still tightly in hand, but now at his side, he walked to stand in front of the window.

“I think you should leave, Tony.” Came a soft whisper.

“I want to watch.”

Bruce chuckled, “What, you want to watch the Hulk die, watch me die? How very sadistic of you.”

“If I recall correctly,” Tony started as he moved to stand behind Bruce. “You once said you went down this road before, and the Hulk….”

“And the Hulk spit it out.” Bruce interrupted. Then there was a few clicks/snaps of metal before a glowing red bullet was thrown at Tony, who caught it and stared.

“Bruce…” Tony said, clear fear now trapped in his voice.

“It took me sometime and honestly I wouldn’t have been able to create it without all of your toys, but there it is.” Bruce smiled softly now as he turned to face Tony.

“It’s funny you know… I finished it nearly a month ago and when I was done I sat down and stared at it, thinking if I really wanted to go through with it. Thinking back on it now, I know I tricked myself into the belief that I had found a place I could call home. Here. With Jarvis, with the team, with you.” Slow silent tears began to fall from Bruce’s eyes. “But then things changed. They always do….” he Trailed off.

“Bruce….”

“No… I need to say this.” Bruce pleaded. “I’ve only ever loved one person, Tony. I loved her with all my heart and though I did all I could to keep her safe… I failed her. She’s gone because of me…. And because of the pain that followed I swore that I would never love so again. A vow that up until a few months ago had served me well.” Another chuckle fell from Bruce’s lips, so humorless and pained fill that it in turn was causing Tony heart ache.

“Then just like a flash of lightening I was being forced to join this group of so called Avengers to defend the planet. A planet that I don't even belong in. And just like that I’m falling head over heels in love with the least likely person. Suddenly, the world doesn’t feel like hell. I’m finding a reason to wake each morning. I have friends and I’m laughing, feeling more like my true self than I ever have.” A long pause takes over. One in which Tony wishes to say something, anything to keep Bruce from finishing, already knowing that the end of this speech could very well mean the end of him. Of them. But the look Bruce gives him just as he opens his mouth silences him.

“It took more time than I care to admit to finally find the courage to tell this person, who had unknowingly saved me from myself, how I truly felt about them. I invited said person to dinner, they accepted and a joy unlike any other fueled me to make the night perfect. I went out, bought a new suit, got my hair trimmed, even shaved because I wanted to look my best. I bought a gift, wrote a card and waited to meet said person at the appointed time and place.”

And just like that, things finally began clicking into place for Tony.

“Oh god, Bruce….I….” But Bruce wasn’t quite done.

“I sat and waited in that restaurant, alone, for five hours. Didn’t leave until the manager asked me to at closing time. But, even then I couldn’t help but think that something terrible had happened or perhaps something important had come up. So I went “home” thinking I would find a letter explaining why I had been left waiting. Shit, anything would have been better than walking in to find a trail of clothes leading from the entrance way to the hallway followed by loud grunts and moans.”

“Bruce please, I can…”

“Worse still is that I hoped the next day they would remember… that I would receive an apology if nothing else. Days passed and still not a word. I know it was foolish of me to hope to be loved. But to at the very least be considered or maybe respected enough to receive an explanation of any kind.”

Tony was crying now, reaching out to Bruce, who took a step back and finally turned away from the man that had caused him so much heart ache.

“I thought you were different, Tony. I thought you saw more that just he Hulk when you looked at me, but like always I was wrong. So foolishly wrong.”

It took a moment through the blurred vision caused by his tears for Tony to realize what was happening. By the time he had shouted out a plea of “No!” and reached out to stop Bruce, the loud ringing of the gun shot filled the otherwise silent room.

Tony barely made it in time to catch Bruce’s body as it took them both down to the floor. He was screaming, pleading, crying, even begging for the Hulk to come forth. To save Bruce like he had before.

But this wasn’t like the times before. This time Bruce had shot himself clear in the chest, right where his heart was located. And as the blood poured out of the wound, even with Tony’s pressure hold, a war had begun.

For every inch that attempted to turn green in order to save itself, a trail of red, traveling through the blood stream, would force it back to a soft tan. A tan that was just as quickly fading to pale.

“No,no,no, Bruce, please don't leave me! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I love you Bruce. I loved you from the start. From the moment I saw you. But I was scared….” Tony cried as he pressed his forehead against Bruce’s. “Baby, please don’t leave me.” He cried once more, though now he was pressing kisses against Bruce’s warm lips. Lips that soon began to run red like the rest of him.

“I love you! I love you!” he repeated again and again, not wanting to let his love go, even after the glow of red had long since left his body. 

“Come back.” Tony whispered against Bruce’s now cooling lips. “Please come back, don’t leave me.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From LovesGrimReaper: Now if y'all like it enough and are kind enough to comment I might be willing to risk my hide to reap the rest of it from her. So don't be shy, leave a comment. Promise I don't bite.


	2. Chapter 2

  


Months passed with little to no signs of change from Bruce. Tony sat by his bedside for the better part of each day and if he wasn’t there he was locked away in his lab.

Working between Bruce’s notes and his own Tony tried to figure out a way to bring bruce back from the strange coma he had fallen into. One in which Bruce’s body seemed to internally kill and save its self with no end in sight. Both cells appeared to be so even matched that it kept Bruce sort of …. well in a coma for lack of a better word.

“Tony?” Came the soft sympathetic voice of Steve Rogers. Said man religiously visited Bruce and in turn Tony, though he now appeared to come only in order to remind Tony that he needed to eat, sleep, shower. Along with the occasional reminder that Pepper and the company still needed him, that the world still needed Iron-Man. All of which meant nothing to Tony.

“I already ate and signed all the papers Pepper brought by, which she will be picking up in a few hours.” Tony said automatically, his hands holding tightly to Bruce’s cold yet warm hand.

“That’s good Tony, but Fury sent me…” Steve said as he took a seat across from Tony, his eyes glued to Bruce.

Tony looked up long enough to see that his Steve’s eyes were glassed over. Their time was running out.

“How long?”

“It’s been nearly a year Tony. Fury understand that you have been working to bring him back. But, he also understands that this is decision Bruce made. Keeping him like this is going against Bruce’s wishes and Shield can no longer support it.”

“How long?” Tony repeated once more with a hint of a growl as he returned to looking at Bruce.

“A week. Fury will have someone inject another dose of the red-serum till it over powers the Hulk.

“So you’re going to out right kill him?!” Tony growled. His glare now set on Rogers.

“This isn’t living Tony. This is not what Bruce would have wanted.” Steve tried to reason.

“I will not stand by and allow you to kill him!!”

“There isn’t anything else you can do Tony.”

“I’ll take him tot eh tower. I’ll hire specialists to care for him while I figure out how to bring him back… I’ll…”

“You can’t take him Tony.” Steve interrupted.

“What? What do you mean I can’t take him?” Tony asked as his hand tightened around that of Bruce. He was starting to feel cornered and that never ended well. 

“When Bruce came on board with Shield…he signed paper work…”Steve drifted off…too ashamed over what Shield had done. What they would soon do.

“What kind of paper work?” Tony asked, voice half angered, half filled with fear as he saw his options dwindling.

“Please, Steve, I need to know if I am going to have any hope of saving him… You do want him back…don’t you?” Tony went on to ask after minutes passed with no response from Steve.

“God Tony! Of course I want him back. the whole team does, but what can we do?!!!” Steve cried, actual tears now spilling freely from his eyes as he dropped to his knees beside Bruce’s bed, taking his free hand into his own. 

“Bruce is one of us. He’s one of the most honest and caring people I have ever met, even with the Hulk.” Steve smiled. “I mean, even the Hulk has a sweet side.”

“Then help me save him Steve, tell me what he signed so that I can fight it.”

“You can’t fight this Tony, its an airtight contract.” Steve paused again.

“Steve, please.”

“The contract was a bribe. Giving him a chance to pick between the lesser of two evils.” Steve started, his voice holding an edge of anger and frustration.

“Option one, Bruce could walk away and continue on with his life of running and hiding from General Ross or option two, he could sign himself over to Shield, become “protected property” and gain a sense of normality. He wouldn’t have to run anymore.”

Tony was beside himself with rage. He knew Shield was just as fucked up as any other branch of government, but this beyond corrupt.

“I don’t see Bruce ever having reason to sign such a thing. He fought for his freedom, at any and all levels, for so long.” Tony sighed as he moved to brush his fingers through Bruce’s hair. “He wouldn’t have signed that without another reason to push him to it. There’s something you aren’t telling me.”

“When they first brought him on board, he refused to sign it. Said he would help out were he could, but that when everything was over he would leave.”

“Then why….”

“About a month before Bruce moved in with you at Stark Tower. I found Bruce sitting alone in Shield's lab glaring at a piece of paper. He kept picking up a pen, putting it down, then picking it up again. He looked so at war with himself that I thought I should offer my help. You know…lend him an ear.” Steve smiled at the memory.

“He nearly flew out of his seat when he heard my voice. Saw the flash of green in his eyes. So I knew this had to be serious.”

_”Holy hell cap. Don’t sneak up on people like that.” said Bruce as he flipped over the documents he had been looking at, hiding them from view._

_“Sorry…” Steve smiled gently and took a seat next to Bruce. “I just couldn’t help but notice that you might be in need of a friend right about now.”_

_“A…a friend? What for?” Bruce asked nervously._

_“Well, friends are people that offer help or lend an ear to a fellow friend who could use it… and you my dear friend look like the kind of man who is fighting to make a rather tough decision. I merely wish to help or assist in any way you might find helpful.”_

_“I’ve no idea why you would think that, but thanks anyway.” Bruce said in attempt to brush Steve off._

_“If you don't need or want to talk just say so. But, don’t lie. Its not a trait I want to associate you with.” Steve said. He was a little hurt, but rose and started to leave none the less._

_“Dammit Steve, I’m sorry.” Bruce said just as Steve had reached the door. “I’m not used to having friends, yet alone friends with who I can share my thoughts or problems with.”_

_“I understand. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”_

_“You didn’t, I….. I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately. I feel like….. well…. I feel trapped honestly. I don’t know what my next move should be. That’s never happened before. Being on the move for as long as I have…. it comes naturally….. but now……”_

_“Well what are your options?” Steve asked as he went back to take the seat he had earlier vacated._

_“Well.. I could leave. I mean, that was the original plan. Help Shield with whatever they needed and then be on my marry way. But after all we’ve been through…. the way you have all treated me…. and….and….” Bruce drifted off._

_“And Tony?” Steve grinned. Or was is a smirk?_

_“W-What?” Bruce snapped and almost jumped out of his seat, hands now fiddling with everything in sight. “I meant the team as a whole.”_

_“No you didn’t.” Steve challenged in a very unlike Steve way. “I might be innocent in many things, oblivious to the inner workings of the world or romances that I’m ‘involved’ in. But, I’m not blind or deaf.”_

_By now Bruce was staring at Steve wondering if he had ever truly known the man before him._

_“What are you getting at Steve?”_

_“I’m trying to get you to talk. But I see that’s not going to happen while you're in denial. So, I’l settle for you taking some time to think and harbor the idea that perhaps staying might be the better choice for once. You know, try the not running away bit.”_

_Bruce tried to glare at the Captain, but it was hopeless when he knew the man to only speak the truth. He had been running away for a very long time, given it was for a reason, but he had an out now._

_“Do you think he meant it? The offer that he made?”_

_“I don’t know what you mean.”_

_“Tony, when all this started he said I needed to visit his “candy land”, then later said I could stay with him. Do you think he meant it?”_

_Steve laughed and slapped Bruce on the back in good humor._

_“Tony never says anything he doesn’t mean.”_

_As Steve left he turned around to add one last bit, but stopped when he noticed Bruce signing the stack of papers before him. He didn’t know what they were, but he figured it meant Bruce was staying. ___

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, don't be afraid to share your thoughts, makes me all reapery-warm-inside ;)
> 
>   
> 


	3. Chapter 3

“You knew?!” Shouted Tony. “All that time you knew he cared for me as something more than a team mate, as more than a friend, and you didn’t think it vital to tell me?!” Tony continued while pacing the room. His mind was flying a mile a second with thoughts of how different things could have been had Steve told him. He could have changed. He could have became the man Bruce needed, if only he had known, before his own fears set in to interfere with his own feelings for Bruce.

“It wasn’t my place to say anything.” Steve stated, now rising from the floor to take his seat once more. “What really happened that night Tony?” Everyone has tried hacking into your system to find out the truth, because we can’t believe that Bruce would do this without something to push him to it.”

“Does it really matter right now?” Tony growled and glared. “Fury is trying to kill Bruce!”

“You’re right.” Steve sighed. “So what are our choices?”

Tony was quiet for a long while. He hated to think that things had gone so horribly wrong that now all his options were gone. Well……. all except the one he had been hoping to avoid at all cost.

“Where is Thor?”

“Umm… last I checked he was in the gym working out with Natasha, why…..what can he do?” Steve asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Him nothing….. but his brother on the other hand…..” Tony trailed off as he bolted out the door to find the man in question.

Steve was right on his heals arguing. 

“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!” Steve shouted. “Loki would never help us. Besides he isn’t even allowed off of Asgard. That’s his punishment, remember?”

Everyone thought said punishment was comical considering how much damage Loki had caused, but Thor had vouched for his brother and current “Lover”, saying that Loki was a changed man. Not to mention that Odin was trying to make up for being such a dreadful father.

“Loki is all about making deals, if I can make an offer worth his while, he can help us save Bruce.” Tony argued. 

The gym was four floors down and a mission to find, but Steve did not stop trying to reason with Tony until Thor’s voice shocked them into silence, while Natasha stared in interest. 

“Friends! Why do you argue with one another?” Thor asked as he moved to stand in front of the two bickering men.

“Tony, please.” Steve pleaded in vain, his hold on Tony’s shoulder tightening.

“What other choice do we have Steve, honestly, what else can we do?” Tony tried once more to reason as Thor watched on. “Please understand, I’ve thought long and hard about this. Plan Z. There is no other way.”

Steve stayed silent as he thought about what Tony was saying. About what needed doing if ever they wanted to see Bruce or the Hulk again. 

Looking into Tony’s eyes he knew there was nothing else that he could do. “Alright Tony, I’ll have your six should anything go wrong.”

“Thank you.” Tony said with a light sigh of relief.

“Of what do you speak?” Thor asked, eyes flashing between the two. But, Natasha looked like she had figured it out. 

“Tony are you sure?” Natasha asked as she moved closer to the group.

“Tell me you wouldn’t do the same for Barton.”

“Then let me come with you, I’ve tripped him up before.”

There was a wave of shock and confusion that crossed Tony’s face, but it passed quickly. Of course Natasha would have figured it out.

“No, you need to stay here with Steve and keep Fury away from Bruce until I back.”

“Friends, I am not sure I understand what is happening.” Thor said. “But, know that whatever is is, I too will help in anyway possible.”

“Glad to hear you say that Thor because you are currently the one that can help me.”

“Come on Steve, lets go watch over Bruce while these two talk.” Natasha said while grabbing ahold of Steve’s arm and slowly dragging the man away.

It was only once the two had gone that Tony and Thor locked eyes in a serious manner.

“What has happened since last we spoke?” Thor questioned, though now he no longer had to pretend he didn’t know what was going on. 

“Fury is “pulling the plug” by the end of the week.”

“So we take him to your tower like we discussed.” 

“Yeah, that was exactly what I was going to do, until Steve filled me in on the fact that Bruce signed a form with Shield stating that he was their property so long as they kept him from being hunted and experimented on.” Tony growled again at the thought.

Thor too was growling in outrage at Shield underhandedness. He knew, through Tony’s detailed explanations and his own personal experience just how Shield like to work.   
“Friend Stark, I know I have warned you before, but you really need to understand that making a deal with my brother will not be easy.” Thor said with worried eyes.

“I know, but I’m hoping his love for you will have some affect.” Tony smiled softly at Thor until Thor flashed him a little smile of his own and a shake of his head.

“You aren’t implying that I should seduce my lover in order to get you what you want, are you?” grinned Thor softly. The irony being that he had already tried and failed. 

“Would it work?”

“I’m afraid not. I’ve never really been able to seduce Loki to do anything I ask. It’s how he’s ended up in so much trouble.”

“Well it was worth a shot.” Tony sighed. “So…. lets get this show on the road.”

“As you wish, friend Stark.” Thor said, Hammer magically in hand as Heimdall got them to Asgard. 

One there, Tony and Thor made their way to the part of the castle that the two lovers had claimed for themselves. Tony, perhaps on a different day for a different reason, would have wandered off to do some investigating of his own, but he was on a mission.

Upon entering what Tony was going to label the most epic sized library he had ever seen, they came across a very scantly clothed Loki.

He was wearing the equivalent of tight boxers in back and a dark green silk robe, which was openly exposing the gods pale perfect skin and a body that Tony would not have imagined could be so toned. Looking over at Thor, Tony could now see why it was so easy for the god of thunder to be so easily seduced. 

“Loki?” Thor called, voice a little strained. To which Loki seemingly ignored, face buried in a book as he moved to lounge on a near by chase.

“I didn’t expect you back of another day at the least, lover. Did you miss my touch so badly that you could not stay away?” Loki drawled in a very seductive voice that somehow managed to also sound nonchalant as he flipped through the book in hand. Never once looking up.

Had Tony not been so deeply in love with Bruce, or so deeply hat Loki, he couldn’t imagine staying away from such a tempting body for very long. Specially considering his over active sex drive.

“Brother…” This whined/growled effectively earning Loki’s full attention, for he was then looking between Thor and Tony.

“Threesome then?” Loki asked, rising from the chase, leaving the book behind in order to better examine what was occurring.

“As NOT enticing as that sounds, Loki, I am here to bargain with you.” Tony stepped up to say before Thor could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to leave a comment of any ideas or input you might have.


End file.
